i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
