She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
