he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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