in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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