i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Never let your siblings swipe right.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
