its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
