I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I could make wine with my vomit
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
