I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
