is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
