I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
