uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
