Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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