New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
