I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
