Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
