Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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