babies were throwing up all over the place
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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