we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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