Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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