I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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