im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
