fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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