I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Randomize
