We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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