If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
