Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
is wine microwaveable?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
