Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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