I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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