Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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