so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
