I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
