question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize