went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
