we're blogging at a bar
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
