come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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