I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
