I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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