Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
