How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
