Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
