these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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