I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
