Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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