Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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