you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
