We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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