who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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