After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
