you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
