She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
