Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Green mimosas i think yes
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
