is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Randomize