Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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