I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
