dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I will die if light touches me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
