Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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