I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
