I'm going to jail i love you
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
