Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
