playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
