party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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