just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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