I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
