this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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