we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
